dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
