Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
