I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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