Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
