O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
