i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize