Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
