I have demons in me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
