i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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