a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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