I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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