Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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