i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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