So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
