The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
