If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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