He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
