There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
