did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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