i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
