my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she told me i tasted like america
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
