I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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