Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
