So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
