So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So much rum. So many feels.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
