Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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