you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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