I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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