i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
