dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
