I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
