I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
