I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
