we're blogging at a bar
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
