I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
