and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
