69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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