it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
