Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just googled if crying burns calories
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
