who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
