In the future we'll all be gay
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
