Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
