He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
