Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think weed is turning my hair brown
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
