i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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