dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
