The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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