thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I have demons in me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
