At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
