In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
